The Stoneleaf

Observations from a yet another vantage point. About anything, that Matters!

Name:
Location: India

I am what I am, thats what I am!
Dreamer, Maverick, Socially Unacceptable!!

I...
I am the Ego, the ego supreme
I am Somnus, source of your dreams
I am the Sound, when silence screams
I am Everything, all that has been

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Loos Control and Bloody Birthdays

Yes, that is not a typo-error. I actually did mean loo's control, but if sometimes omitting a punctuation here or there, makes a headline a bit more readable, I think one should have the liberty to do that. Coming back to the headline.
When I say Loo's control, I mean the control in terms of the kinesthetics that men portray when in the loo. Being sexually correct, I could also talk about women, but then I do not have the necessary wisdom to indulge in this seemingly voyeuristic expedition. And before i launch into another tangent, this post is just to put into words, the weirdest of actions people exhibit when they are at taking the natures call.
I think psychologists, or sociologists, or even anthropologists can learn a lot in the mannerisms of a person taking a leak. The actions before, while and after the sprinkle can just be unique identifiers of a persons idiosyncracies. Maybe politicians have some common pattern in the way they take a leak, or perhaps criminals could be identified by using a correlation code to match and relate the way they relieve themselves of the fluid presssures. I myself have witnessed countless approaches towards and away from the privy, come plain stupid, to some pretty ridiculous. I wont be quoting gross details here, but all you guys will know what I am talking about.
So if one fine day, you see in the crime-based hollywood thrillers, a special covert department with the NSA, that analyzes and catches serial killers basis Pee mechanics, sont be surprised. and dont be shocked if you see someone working as a Pee-do-file, he might just be not lusting after kids. He might just be collecting bloody-data on the peeculiarities of some bloody peeple.
That brings me to the bloody birthday. Why bloody? Well I had my birthday sometime in the last of the last month. As my birthdays (infact my life, and freak incidents go hand in glove) are wont to, my mobile connection went under transition at 6pm on the previous day. So yours truly had to go to the teleshop and get it in order. Somehow excusing myself from office for an hour I went to their office, only to discover that there was a long queue. While supposed to wait, I decided to roam around in the complex, and there was a Blood Donation Camp set at a corner.
And bingo! I turned myself in for blood donation. All was going well till I suddenly found 4-5 mean-looking ladies walking benevolently towards me. These aunties wanted to get their photographs taken while volunteering for the blood donation. And here was I, lying helplessly between posing faces, and smearing smiles, trapped with a nail sized needle sucking my blood, while someone behind the camera was coaxing me to face the lens. Which I did not.
Blood donation is a nobel task, and I am not saying it since I do it, but because it can give back lives to people. To see it reduced to a posed portrait is something that I do not appreciate. The trivialization of something sufficiently serious is not for me. Though I do tend to find weird humor in the gravest of situation. But come on! this was not even humorous.
You may say, I should look at the brighter side, at how they are trying to take things which people are generally scared of in a lighter vein. On their attempt to make a possibly worried person scared of seeing his blood flow through the fiber veins into a sanitised collecting-bottle more relaxed by clicking his picture. But somethings are temperamental, I guess I had my reasons for angst.
Anyway, I did manage to get my SIM restored, and later had a great sleep at night, which was possibly due to intrinsic exhaustion that sets in when the body experiences loss of vital fluids.
The point? Donate blood people, atleast onoce. It doesnt hurt that much, you get to eat apples, sip some juice, you may even get photographed (we are a photo crazy nation, more on this later) and you help save someone's life.
Stay beautiful!

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33 Comments:

Blogger aria said...

LOL! I liked this writing of yours a lot .. its quite witty and the tone is just right for the subject(s) .. as for the first part .. hehe .. I only have one problem and that is ..with men 'loosing' control in the road sides .. even that speaks volumes about 'mannerisms'..
Nice of you to round it off with the blood donation message .. I think social service and all is so much 'in fashion' these days that people try to glorify every deed which is remotely noble .. I'm guilty of not donating blood .. it scares me big time but I hope to do it some time ..
Belated Happy Birthady again :)

September 12, 2007 10:17 PM  
Blogger AakASH!!! said...

@Aria: Thank you for the wishes. And not only roadsides, but parking lots as well. But that again is something else.

September 13, 2007 11:28 AM  
Blogger twilight said...

I skipped part of the post, scrolled down hoping maybe there would be atleast one of the pics mentioned :D ..

okk silly me

Haven't donated blood yet. The usual fear of needles.

There's a crazy superstition ok that what you do on your birthday kind of sets the trend for the rest of the year. So there :)!

ps: belated b'day wishes!

September 13, 2007 1:16 PM  
Blogger AakASH!!! said...

@Twilight: Hmm interesting when once gets to address people with similar names, and even similar images.

But tell me you are not the fairy, and we'll talk without pretensions. :)

September 13, 2007 5:00 PM  
Blogger mystic rose said...

Nice style, beautiful!!


..and ours is a blood sucking nation too, i mean the politicians and middle men ofcourse.

September 13, 2007 5:16 PM  
Blogger Anki said...

Bloody Brilliant!! :D
hheeh.. that wasnt my first reaction, but it just seemed appropriate ..

you had your SIM restored and had a nice sleep tht day?.. i would assume that you would have been busy receiving phone calls...

btw... a trivia question.. what's ur blood type?

September 13, 2007 7:22 PM  
Blogger AakASH!!! said...

@Rose: Your nation is US now, isnt it?

@Anki: Ohh it shoud have been easy to guess for you. Think what kind of person i am, and there you have your answer!

September 13, 2007 8:07 PM  
Blogger Anki said...

B+ ?? no kiddin..coz thts my blood grp too :D

September 13, 2007 9:49 PM  
Blogger humbl devil said...

finally a blog in the n real sense from the story teller...
btw, belated happy returns..

September 13, 2007 10:01 PM  
Blogger twilight said...

simple coincidence.

Thanks for visiting :)

September 14, 2007 12:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Loved the post :o)
You write well... keep writing.

= rich

September 14, 2007 2:37 PM  
Blogger AakASH!!! said...

@Anki: Sadly, you got it wrong. :( I am not positive, so O+.
Lagta hai kaafi galatfahmi mein rakha hai aapko maine.

@Devil: Isnt this blog only about real things? I mean thats the motive of this blog. :) And thank you.

@Twilight: Nice coincidence. So welcome to the neverland.:)

@Rich: Thankyou ji. :)

September 14, 2007 4:02 PM  
Blogger twilight said...

Curiosity got the better of me. Checked her blog. She's pretty :).

Now I wish I had her looks too!

September 14, 2007 6:48 PM  
Blogger Anki said...

nah.. it was just tht.. I always think my blood grp defines the kind of person i am.. and i thought tht was the only blood group which could do it!.. i stand corrected :)

But its cool tht you are a universal donor..
we have a blood donation drive in office today...

September 14, 2007 10:49 PM  
Blogger d4u said...

Belated Happy birthday!! :)

September 14, 2007 11:07 PM  
Blogger Renovatio said...

Universal donor, so you're helping even more people :p

I've donated a few times, all three times we were lucky enough to have the accident happen a little over three months from the point I'd last donated, so I was allowed to do it. I wanted to donate last time my college had a blood drive, but I still had some fifteen days to go, they'd demanded donor cards from the people that had them beforehand. There are also health benefits to donating blood, regarding faster renewal of blood compared to the body doing it itself.

For some reason donating blood makes me feel more energetic, though it has an adverse effect on how all the women in my life treat me. They end up screaming at me. More about doing stuff (like going to work after) than the actual donating process.

September 15, 2007 12:26 AM  
Blogger My Unfinished Life said...

your post reminded of a blood donation camp held in college....only 2 people volunteered in the beginning ..but when they brought back fruits, juice and one alarm clock with them9all part of rotary club's incentives)..oh my god!!!.there wa such a deluge among our whole class to donate blood and be so noble...!!!!....that brings me to my conclusion for charity..it aint charity if one gets something in return...even if its publicity.....

September 17, 2007 9:57 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

LOL Aakash!

I hv neva donated blood in my life...mebbe cos my blood wud be toxic to many?

Keshi.

September 24, 2007 11:18 AM  
Blogger AakASH!!! said...

@Twilight: You did? :)

As for wishing for the looks, she might as well be one craving for someone else. one is never satisfied, hai na?

@Anki: Toh kya tumne khoon bahaaya? Did you donate blood? Or are you saving it up for the machchars here?:)

@d4u: Thank you. :)

@Renovatio: You seem to be a pro at it. Good to know man!

@Shooting Star: Rarely an act of charity has a unselfish motive, if not material, one does recieve some sort of ego boost anyway. real charity should be humbling. But what is real anyways?

@Keshi: Poisonous, i dont know. But yes HOT and Intoxicating.

September 24, 2007 3:52 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

hehehehe.

How hv u been? why r ya missin from blogs...BUF as well?

Keshi.

September 25, 2007 8:28 AM  
Blogger twilight said...

Right!! :P

September 25, 2007 12:45 PM  
Blogger soulitary reaper said...

:) blog updated...

September 27, 2007 9:04 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

dun u ever stop by BUF anymore Akaash?

Keshi.

October 03, 2007 6:59 AM  
Blogger AakASH!!! said...

@keshi: I am not missing hon', just dormant. As for visiting BUF, I do, you dont even read my comments anymore. :)

@twilight: See.

@Soul: Waah waah!

October 03, 2007 10:38 AM  
Blogger twilight said...

:)

October 04, 2007 12:09 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

o well whenever Im there (in BUF) the usual times we used to be, ur never there :)

Anyways wut dun mean I dun read ur comments? Where d u mean?


Keshi.

October 04, 2007 12:14 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

**wut d u mean


Keshi.

October 04, 2007 12:14 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Bhai kuch accha likho :)

October 08, 2007 6:22 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I didnt mean this article was bad. I just want you to write something cheerful now to improve my mood :)

October 08, 2007 6:23 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

update karo!

Keshi.

October 22, 2007 10:42 AM  
Blogger AakASH!!! said...

@twilight: Smiles back at you.

@Keshi Anywhere, was what i meant. And have updated. :)

@Vibhanshu: Pasant na bhi aaye dada, toh bhi maktuub hai. :)

Arsa guzar gayaa hai lekin, Mood ko kya hua tha?

October 23, 2007 1:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice description especially about blood flowing through fiber veins.
I so wish the blood you donate someday surges through my veins - just a wile Bollywood thought.

a photo crazy nation
a film crazy nation

February 20, 2008 11:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for writing this.

November 11, 2008 9:37 PM  

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